I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
