saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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