This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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