the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
