he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
