I think I just saw someone hide a body.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
