it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
