From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
