awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
