I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
