Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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