What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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