my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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