Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
