Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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