Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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