Don't you send me to vm
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
never play flip cup with pint glasses
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
