I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
