covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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