Are we in a gay sports bar?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
