If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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