Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
