your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
