I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
