The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
