There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
