"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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