we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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