At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
