She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
