Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
