If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The Olympian is in my bed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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