is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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