Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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