My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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