Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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