I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
