Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
They have beer where we have blood.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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