I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
