apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize