none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
