Whatcha textin bout Willis?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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