then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
