I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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