I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
