I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize