Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
