we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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