Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
