if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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