really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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