Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
