You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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