p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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