Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
