Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
