When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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