Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
