Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize