There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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