I think I just saw someone hide a body.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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