And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
