Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
