how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
