you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
