For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
