he wants to bone in the snuggie
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
