Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
