the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
